I don't get it.
Definitely, I just don't.

That maybe sounds like strange, but things are going so... weirdly...
I always try not to show people how worried I am... But still... I'm tired of hiding that I perfectly understand the situation. I don't want people to hate me, and I don't want to create any conflict. But by lying, I make myself meaningless, transparent...
Because of the way people were, I realized that it was impossible to "create" a friendship. People are, or are not your friend, but if you try, then, this friendship will not work really ; you will not be yourself, and you will always have to make efforts. Finally, real friends are those whom you didn't try to had first, I guess...
But then... Hell... I'm not sure...
You must know that I'm always lying. Not in the way that I like manipulate people, but in the way that, because I'm paranoiac, I perfectly notice many things, and, because I don't want any trouble, I have sometimes not to talk about. Anyway, I'm rarely telling what I have in mind... I'm a perfect coward, in that way.
Should I say what I'm really thinking, or should I keep on going just like it doesn't matter ?
Maybe I should stop worrying... Hell, I don't actually know...